but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
