I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize