next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
