if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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