I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
This is my gift to your gina
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
