i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
