Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize