fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
