How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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