What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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