Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
