the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
