I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
