I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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