there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
