So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I need to sanitize my soul.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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