you would pick up someone in the library
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
