We're facebook friends in real life
You can't motorboat a personality
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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