I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
