He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
