did you get engaged???
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
