We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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