You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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