I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
