I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize