Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
