8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
