Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
