the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
