I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
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