we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
