I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize