evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
