he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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