First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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