hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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