I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize