farters have to be the big spoon...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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