There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
