How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
