I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
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