wakey wakey hands off snakey
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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