Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
