I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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