we have officially lost it.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize