maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
