haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
