We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
im holly from the hills drunk
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
