I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
