i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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