I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I am available for nakedness
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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