i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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