16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
