so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
