I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
