i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
