i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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