You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The power of my boobs compel you
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
