Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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