im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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