East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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