why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
