The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Dear god my vagina.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
