Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
