Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
