i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
