Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The best revenge is premature balding
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
