My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
