where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
