I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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